Case of The Ex

We've all had that one Ex we've tried so hard to pack our stuff and leave behind right?? And I have been wondering why it is so hard to let go of a relationship that continuously causes us pain or confusion?. I mean what is it about the pain that you love so much? I still don’t have the 100% answer.

During my process I found myself asking God to fix me, and once he does I find myself once again running back to the exact thing he saved me from. You see all this while I thought I was the problem not knowing the problem was as simple as “IT’S NOT FOR YOU”. But I kept hoping and thinking maybe just maybe, if I fix myself up and change they’ll accept me and we’ll live happily ever after.

Sis/Bro sometimes you need to take a step back from the situation and simply pray and ask God to show you what it is he’s trying to tell you. Most of the time both parties are not to blame, neither is God, it just means that relationship is NOT for you, and forcing yourself to stay and stay loving in a painful relationship will hurt you even more than the relationship itself. There were times when it couldn’t be any less obvious that God was speaking to me, but I kept ignoring it because of what I wanted and I ended up hurting myself. And guess where I turned to after that? I ran back to the same person and only one that has my interest at heart (My Redeemer).

Through my personal experience on this subject, I have learnt to really listen to God in the midst of my hardship. And it’s okay to admit and submit your feelings to God. I was not afraid to tell God how I was feeling, in fact I spoke to him about the situation more than I ever did with any of my peers.

There’s been times when all I did was cry and kept begging God to do so and so, I look back now and laugh because I know God was definitely telling me “You Gonna Learn Today”. And I did, I still am, and the lesson is to keep trusting God even if the lesson hurts because what comes after those lessons? Will surely be blessings. I have learnt to stop obsessing about the mess in the relationship or outsiders opinions. It is a blessing when God 'MOVES' you from a situation you refuse to leave. 

NOTE: God will never give you something you don't need, he is our provider, he only supplies what we NEED

The “GO” STEPS

1.      Cut all communications with your ex, what are you both talking about after the long break up? The more you speak to each other, the harder it will be to let go. Don’t suddenly call on their birthday or any occasion to start a conversation, you won’t heal if you keep focusing on them. Be civil with one another, e.g- if they say hello, say it back and keep it moving. Bitterness is not part of the spiritual fruits.

2.      Do not listen to the ‘maybe’s of getting back together one day’ because that will only stop you from focusing on God. You will spend so much time thinking about the ‘maybe’s’ and distract yourself on the present things and where God is taking you 

3.      ‘GO’ out there and find people with similar interest as yourself, networking with the right people can bring new connection. And I am not talking about a new relationship. Continue to build yourself and stay prayed up, ask God to bring people that'll help you to grow better, and live a Godly life

4.      Learn to be content with your situation, don’t look at your newlywed friends and become bitter and start crying to God, screaming where is mine. Stay strong in Christ and be content in your season. it's okay to cry when you feel tired, it is normal but don't use that as an excuse to run to God and start bickering about what your Ex did. He knows!

5. Let the PAST GO! You won't blossom unless you look ahead and wait on what God has for you. Don't start stalking your Ex on social media to see if he has a new girl. This will become a new headache. rather thank God for a new blessed day, and believe his plans for you are greater than what you can see

Blessings 
Grace

(Opinions, suggestions are welcomed)